Anyone who is constantly dealing with decline and death tends to have gloomy thoughts. However, this is neither good for the carer nor helpful when dealing with residents in need of care. That is why Gestalt therapist and theologian Leonhard Fromm has seven tips to keep your mood up or brighten it up again after a crisis situation and thus improve your mental health.
Tip one: Carers should not focus on shortcomings and deficits, but on the good things: What was nice today? What did I do particularly well? What was I happy about? What am I particularly good at? What are my strengths? This could have been praise from a colleague, a nice encounter with relatives, a funny incident with a resident or the introduction of a new employee or trainee. This exchange can take place in the team, for example before the handover, or at home on a piece of paper.
Tip two: Disruptions and conflicts should not be „swallowed“, but addressed openly. This is not about criticizing or even shaming someone else, but about acknowledging your own anger. It is helpful to proceed consistently in three steps: What are the facts? What is my judgment and finally: What are my feelings about it? Because what is said cannot grow inside us, has no negative impact on our mental health and therefore cannot make us bitter.
Tip three: Expectations are the cause of disappointment of any kind, especially if they have not been openly communicated beforehand. Closely linked to expectations are judgments and assumptions such as „you can see that!“, „everyone does it that way!“ etc. Closely related to this is generalization, which is wrong simply because it is absolute. It is therefore better for your own state of mind not to judge, but simply to perceive and at best be surprised that someone obviously doesn’t see something, doesn’t know it, does it differently – or doesn’t do it at all. There can be a hundred reasons for this that we don’t know.
Tip four: Instead of speeding up in stressful situations, it can be wise to slow down for a moment, pause and take a deep breath. Because, as a rule, care is not a matter of life and death, but only of better or worse, faster or slower, sooner or later. And in order to be able to consciously perceive this and, as it were, come to terms with your own soul, you need a brief interruption.
Tip five: Because we are – fortunately – not machines, we cannot function perfectly all the time. That’s why we should interrupt our routine with small, deliberate highlights and celebrate our successes. For example, if a resident has unexpectedly eaten well or dressed herself. Then this woman should be praised and ultimately the person being praised expresses their own gratitude and ability to live in the moment.
Tip six: Everything goes better with humor. As hackneyed as the phrase may be, it’s still true. For everyday life on the nursing ward, this means not taking things so seriously, or even doggedly, but taking things easy. Rather with the attitude: things could have been much worse. A „paradoxical intervention“, i.e. deliberate exaggeration, can also be beneficial. For example: „If another colleague is ill tomorrow, we can close the store. Then we’ll all go to bed.“ Incidentally, singing also belongs in this category: it relaxes and makes us feel beautiful and has a positive impact on our mental health.
Tip seven: This recommendation may sound controversial, but I am making it here in view of all the crises in our world. We have food, medication, beds – the heating works and we also have running water. Yes, despite everything that goes wrong and doesn’t work: We live in peace and freedom and our salary is in our bank account every month.
